When we last left young Robert, he had finished up elementary school and was getting ready for the new world of junior high school. Unfortunately, we do not get young Robert’s impressions of adapting to a new school environment; I didn’t write a new entry until March of my 7th grade year, when the school year is nearly over. But that first entry sure is a doozy…
March 27, 1994 – I hate seeing people in love. It makes me really mad to see someone like that. It makes me think of second grade* and the fun Shawna and I had walking home together.** That year in school will always stick out to me. I hate not being in love. Sometimes I want to go to my room and cry. I wish someone would at least learn to like me. But I guess there’s always next year, right. But maybe I should face the facts. I’m just an ugly fat slob.*** Nobody will fall in love with me. I’ll die a lonely man in a rest home with no one to come visit me. The Boyz II Men song “End of the Road” used to have some meaning in my life. Not anymore. Sure, I got**** good grades but no one is ever going to like me. Maybe I should jump of a bridge or something to prove to myself that I am a useless body on the earth. I’ll write in you tomorrow, hopefully. Goodbye.
Shawna is an ugly hoe. I hope I never see her again in my life.*****
*Need to move on and get over this. At this point, it is five years in the past and I was 9?
**This was the extent of my “relationship” with Shawna. Remember, I was 9. We also hung out at recess but what else do kids do in 2nd grade when they are in love?
***No self esteem issues here. And everyone says it’s little girls who think they are gross and disgusting. Should have turned to anorexia or something.
****You’re killing me with the “got,” Kid.
*****Awfully dramatic, wouldn’t you say. If by some random chance that Shawna finds this and knows that I am talking about her, 13 year-old me didn’t mean it. Sorry.
March 28, 1994 – Met a new girl at school today.* She didn’t tell me her name. I met her at lunch. She’s kind of cute. If I see her tomorrow, I’ll ask her her name and her grade. I hope I see her tomorrow. On Wednesday the term ends. On early Thursday, we’re leaving for Disneyland.
*I remember this day semi-vividly. In hindsight, I think said girl and her friends were just being nice to me to make fun of me. Junior high girls can be so mean.
November 1, 1994 – It been eight months since I last wrote.* I’m going to write a little bit down every day. Since I last wrote, I got** a paper route, started to like a new girl and asked her out in a few letters, and started a new school year. Since school started, I sort of started to like a few other girls. They are Emily Loch
and Jennifer Alvarado. I sort of started to like Amanda again.*** The term ends on Thursday and I’m getting straight A’s (I think). My birthday is 49 days away.**** The girl I mentioned earlier is Mandi Voshell. She hasn’t given me an answer yet.***** I’m going to write another letter and drop it in her locker (hopefully). Getting late. Gotta go. Goodnight. BE******
*Just in case you didn’t know that November 1st does not directly follow March 28th.
***I guess I liked to edit my journal at later dates when my moods and opinions on girls changed.
****My fourteenth birthday.
*****Not to ruin the surprise, but she either never answered me or said no. We never “went out.”
******My initials. I went by Bobby in school and growing up until I started applying for colleges and stuff.
November 2, 1994 – I walked halfway home with Shawna. We had a pretty nice talk. It was just like 2nd grade.* The term ends tomorrow. Tomorrow I get my POGS** back from Miss Raines***. I don’t have anything else to write today. Good night.
*Get over it already. Really. It was SECOND GRADE!!
**POGS were awesome weren’t they? Wish I still had some so I could play on occasion. Not!
***Miss Raines was my American History teacher. Probably the worst teacher that I ever had. But I had some fun that year in school just annoying the hell out of her with my friend Jake Whetstone. Good times.
November 3, 1994 – End of the term. No school tomorrow. I got my paycheck today. Went to music store. Bought some music. Goodbye.*
November 4, 1994 – No school today. Bought some POGS today. Nothing much happened. Goodbye.
February 15, 1995 – Wasted $4 buying roses for Emily.** Turns out she doesn’t like me the way I like her. I’m going to try and forget about her, but that’s going to be hard. I think I love her, or maybe I just like her a lot.*** I’m not sure. I don’t know who else there is that I could like at our school. Maybe I can have someone set me up with someone else. If I could make the basketball team next year, it might help me find a girlfriend.**** Until then, I can keep on dreaming. Goodbye, write tomorrow.
*Would have been a perfect “Tweeter” back in the day for sure.
**The cheerleaders at school sold roses on Valentine’s Day as a fund raiser or something, and they delivered them for you. If I remember correctly, I sent Emily her roses with an anonymous note or something. How I knew that she didn’t like me the way I liked her is beyond me. To be honest, I probably had the roses delivered the period before history, since that was the only class I had with her, then acted like an idiot when I saw her in class. Real smooth.
***Probably closer to the latter there, Bub.
****Not to get your hopes up, but neither thing happened. I gave up the first day of basketball tryouts, and didn’t end up with a girlfriend. Not too hard to figure that out I bet.
July 16, 1995 – School’s been out for a month. Emily thanked me for the roses on the back of my yearbook. It was so cool. She told me to call her this summer. Guess what? I haven’t called her yet. I’m overcome with shyness.* Maybe I’ll have Colin ask her out for me. Oh well. We are going to Lagoon tomorrow. How exciting! School starts in a month and a half. Yeah!** I won’t be bored anymore! Back to Emily. She is so cool. If I wasn’t so shy I’d ask her out in a heartbeat. I could probably do it now. The worst thing she could say is no.*** Well, I will try to remember to write tomorrow. The end. Goodbye.
July 17, 1995 – I am actually writing this on the 18th but that’s okay. I went to Lagoon today. Had fun. I dreamed (sic) about Emily. Got lost. That’s all. Goodbye.
July 18, 1995 – Went to the Quest**** house. Created a new character. I’m going to write the history for him right now. Goodbye.
July 19, 1995 – Got my paycheck today. Need to borrow about $15 if I want to go on the weekend.***** Nothing else happened. Goodbye.
Sept 1, 1995 – Today is Friday. School started on Monday. My favorite class is Seminary.****** I don’t see Emily much. Have to do some reading. Good night.
*Didn’t prevent me from riding my bike past her house numerous times during the summer all stalker-like though.
**Apparently I dug school. Or exclamation points were how I indicated sarcasm.
***A philosophy I still don’t follow to this day.
****Quest was the Live-Action Role-Playing game that I played for about 4 months before losing interest. But not before spending a bunch of money buying PVC pipe, insulation, and duct tape to make fake weapons. Good times. I’m beginning to think I had ADD or something and lost interest in things pretty quickly. Or maybe I realized that beating people up with Styrofoam swords was lame.
*****To cap of the lameness that is my LARP-ing experience, “the weekend” is Quest weekend when they all go and camp out in the woods and play Quest. I did it once. I mainly played goblins and things because I didn’t have enough money to play my character. Or something.
******I loved Seminary so much that 9th grade was the last year I did it. And completely left the Church for good shortly after. Funny note: Shawna was in my Seminary class. Weird!!
This, unfortunately, is the only post written during my ninth grade year, which is unfortunate. You will see why when I finish this little series off next time. I pretty much skipped all of ninth grade, probably because of my ADD or simply because I am not that good about doing running commentary. However, the 12 days of entries that are left in the journal are pretty interesting, and I cap the whole journal off with a list of goals that is quite interesting. You will have to check this space out on Monday (possibly before) for the exciting conclusion of this. After that, I may publish some of my awesome high school writing.
Until next time…