A New Addition to My Heart

In lieu of a post about movies or something else similar, I would like to write about something else that is way cooler, and if I had been thinking about it, I would have wrote something on Wednesday instead of the rambling incoherence that went up instead. As the title alludes to, we had an exciting event occur in the extended Eberhard family this week: the birth of Baby Joseph Numero Dos. If you follow me on Twitter — and why don’t you? — you would have seen the announcement in real time. Anyway, we’ll get back to that in a minute. No blog of mine would be complete without a departure into something sort of off topic first.

I thought I had mentioned before elsewhere in this blog, but I couldn’t find it, unless I’m just forgetting the phrasing of the discussion on it. Anyway, I read a book once — America Alone: The End of the World as We Know It — about the Islamization of the world. I bought it at some airport bookstore while on some travels, and it was a fairly interesting read even if the politics of the book and author leaned the opposite way of my own political views. Discounting the Right Wing hate of cultures different then our own, the thing that has remained with me years after reading the book is the thought of a self-sustaining population growth, or replacement rate. In developed countries, each generation has to produce an average of 2.1 children per person so as to not fade away to nothingness. The people that have four kids make up for the people that have no kids make up for those that don’t have any. A basic understanding of averages will allow for understanding of this point. 

The point of this ramble is this. There are six children born to Ronald and Stella Eberhard, my truly awesome parents. Therefore, if my siblings and I want to be responsible members of the world, we would have to produce a total of 12.6 children. Since fractional children are pretty impossible to make, we’ll round up to 13. With the birth of the latest Baby Jo, we are at a grand total of 3 for the next generation. We Eberhards have failed to greater world thus far. And it doesn’t look like we will be getting anywhere near the magic mark of 13*, so it is up to the rest of my generation to make up for our shortage. Sorry everyone.

*Not saying that it’s entirely impossible, but with at least three of my siblings done having children for the most part, one avowed never to have children, and two Socially Awkward Penguin brothers bringing up the rear, it would be unrealistic to expect magic from the Eberhard clan. Who knows though? Young Bill could meet some awesome girl, make lots of money fixing planes, and be able to support octuplets. Then it would be up to me to find the Next Mrs. Eberhard and have the two kids I want to. We’ll revisit this topic in a decade and see where we are. 

Despite all this doom and gloom for the future of Western civilization, I am truly happy this week with the arrival of my niece Samillya Joseph. She took her sweet time in getting here, making me think that Stef was just pulling our leg for the last nine months just wanting to be a jolly fat person and blaming it on a baby. It was exciting to meet her on Monday night, and since Stef and Rob didn’t find out she was a girl until she was born, it was even more awesome. (I’ll have you know, however, I knew she was having a girl the entire time.) Now that I am back home, I can properly dote on both of my nephews and my new niece, making the return home an even better idea.

Now to get cracking on getting them some cousins…

Until next time…

3 thoughts on “A New Addition to My Heart

  1. This is so great! You’ve got to be the cutest uncle ever. My brothers have seen Maggie a total of one time (Curt) and zero times (Jeff–granted, he lives in CO, but still…). You’re a good brother, and Stef and her kiddos are lucky to have you in their lives. Congrats on the new family member.
    BTW, I knew it was a girl too. She had to be so that Mags would have her new BFF. 😉

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