The Year of Me!

I wasn’t going to write something down for New Year’s. All in all, I think it’s lame that we all celebrate the changing of one calendar year to the next, another holiday invented to sell more booze and give cops something to justify hours of overtime watching the streets. Back in the days of school, the “new year” always occurred in the middle of the school year, which even then I thought was slightly strange. But I digress. This wasn’t going to be a “resolutions blog.” I’ve written those before and failed miserably at said resolutions. However, my best friend Megan wrote something here that got me thinking about what I want out of this upcoming year.

As many of my friends know, I just turned 30 two weeks ago. While normally a milestone in the lives of people, it came and went without much being different in my life. Sure, I do feel that I need to start focusing on some other things in my life, but at the same time it ultimately does not matter. I prefer to make this year, and moreso this decade of my life, all about me. Maybe that’s a bit selfish sounding, but after the “Aughts“, a decade in which my life was devoted to trying to make others happy, I think I am entitled to at least a few years of time spent on me.

But first this year. This year will be the jumping off point for what I hope will be a successful decade for me. As many people know, I am leaving the Army Reserve after ten and a half years of faithful and honorable service on February 6, 2011. Because of this, I will also be losing my job since, for some reason, my job requires the person in it to be active in the Army Reserve. This rediculous requirement robs the Army Reserve of many potentially great employees who would really devote themselves to the mission of the Reserve, myself included, if not forced to serve two masters as both a civilian and Soldier. The dual role is challenging even for the most skilled and tactful people, and I am tired of having to watch myself as Mr. Eberhard lest SPC Eberhard get in trouble for it. I still firmly believe that things done and said in my civilian capacity greatly influenced decisions made in regards to me in my military capacity, especially in regards to my recent deployment.

Leaving a job is always a difficult proposition, and always more difficult in a down economy where everyone thinks that you are overqualified for their pennies on the dollar job and won’t “stoop” to hiring someone so qualified. I haven’t done it since I took this job in September of 2004, and I have not been without some work since I was in high school. I would be lying if I didn’t admit that I was scared about not having a job. Hopefully, the great state of Connecticut will compensate me a bit for the extremely high taxes I have been paying for nearly 10 years and give me a bit of unemployment until I find abother job. In the meantime, I’ll be doing various things trying to scrape some scratch together so I can cover my expenses, hopefully without resorting to eating Top Ramen every day, though a diet of those sodium-rich treats might aid a bit in the weight loss I desire.

As for the social element of my life, my primary focus throughout this year is just to meet more people. I think if I pursue every woman like she’s the “Next Mrs. Eberhard,” I’ll end up in the current state I am in. This is a miserable existence to be sure, but I’m better equipped to deal with it than ever before. A few years of singledom will allow you to be strong and do that. 2010 didn’t end on a high note for me on the female front, or at least I don’t percieve it as such at this time, so there is only room for improvement in that regard.

The last big hurdle that I have to leap this year, so to speak, is the decision to move home to Utah. I’ll admit, the tug is still there, especially after seeing my new nephew Malcolm and meeting up with “classic” friends over Thanksgiving. But part of me feels that it ultimately would be a step back in my life; the friends who have been begging for nearly a decade for me to come home have all settled into nice little lives, in which I feel like an outsider, regardless of how much I keep in contact. The same goes for my family, though my parents are just starting their first year of being retired together so it’s only a matter of time to see how long they can go without killing each other (not that I really expect that to happen). Besides, with long-term aspirations of being an elected official, does it really make that much sense to go to a state whose general politics I don’t agree with? Where no matter what stance I take I will most likely be in the minority? I’ll just leave the “moving back to Utah” thing at this for now: if it does happen, it won’t be as soon as I said here, but it does almost feel like a question of not if, but when.

These three things are a lot to sort out for sure, but I’ll go back to the premise of Megan’s blog that got me thinking about this: her “resolution” this year is simply to “love.” While I have not experienced the same challenges that my BFF has this year, I know where she is coming from. No matter what ends up happening with the above items, as long as I try to live this year full of love, love for the things that I do, the people that I hang out with, and just the general sense of being alive and (relatively) healthy, then I can look back arounf 362 days or so from now and call the “Year of Me” a success, and feel like I am on my way to living the decade of my 30s successfully.

Happy New Year to everyone and may your year be full of “love” and however you measure success!