I Hate Bananas

Before I get to the title of this blog, I must explain why I am so tardy in posting today’s “A Blog a Day for Thirty Days” entry: men’s tennis. Or, more precisely, one of my favorite blogs about sports and pop culture, written by Joe Posnanski. This particular blog was about general sports topics, but had a lengthy discussion on Roger Federer and his recent completion of the career “Grand Slam.” While reading said blog and its comments, I came to the realization that I was reading a blog about tennis. I regained my senses quickly and decided to stop reading and get onto the task at hand.

Now, you may ask why I hate bananas. I don’t really hate bananas. In fact, I used to LOVE bananas, and anything that had bananas in it, like Banana Cream Pudding from Golden Corral and banana creme pie in general. Bananas were also a good quick breakfast food, and a nice snack. I would eat bananas and banana products fairly regularly. that is, until recently.

Now I don’t remember how recently this all began, as the years just begin to meld together when it all comes down to it. But it seems that sometime over the past few years, my body decided to hate bananas. I can’t explain it. I may have simply developed an alergy to them. I haven’t got this checked out, so I don’t know for sure; I just, in general, avoid eating bananas. Everytime I eat bananas, I get sick. I’ll spare you the details. We’ll just say it upsets my tummy a little bit.

And it is not just bananas. I cannot drink punch that has bananas floating in it. Artificial banana pudding is a no go. “Just say no to bananas!” I tell myself, but every once in a while, I want a dang banana. I figure that this issue arose suddenly, so maybe it will go away suddnely. Nope. I’ll take a few months off from eating bananas and decide to try them again. Apparently, this is never a good idea and a practice I should stop.

Take for instance my trip to the gym. Tired of my normal post-workout peanut butter cup smoothie, I decided to use my Free Smoothie Punch-card to get a fruity smoothie. 85% of the choices had bananas. I didn’t really feal like a Mango-Peach or Raspberry-Peach smoothie, so I deicded to go with one that had bananas. I could have gone with Raspberry-Banana or Orange-Pineapple-Banana or other variations. Which one did I choose? the Banana-Banana smoothie. So, I get brave and decide to try bananas again and decide why not go for the kill and get DOUBLE bananas. Bad idea. It was so tasty, but I was already starting to feel the effects as I walked out to my car. Not a very pleasant ride home.

So, long story short, I am never eating a banana again for the rest of my life. If I am ever stranded on a desert island that only has bananas, maybe, but most likely, I will use the bananas to lure monkeys close to me where I will bash in their heads with rocks. Knowing my luck, these monkeys will have eaten too many bananas and indeed be partially a banana. And I will die for eating a monkey. That will not be fun.

Stupid beluga whales…