If anybody wants to buy me a present for some reason, this would be the best thing ever. If someone bought this for me, they would instantly become my bestest friend in the entire world.
I don’t have a birthday coming up, nor is there any other holiday or event that you could buy me a present, but just thought I would put it out there.
Thanks.
Robert Writes About... 
you crack me up! I'll keep this in mind.