The Whole Truth

All right. So you read these blogs about me being a loser and striking out with the ladies and you start to feel a little sorry for me. Or you think I am pathetic. Whatever. But this here is the truth.

I have decided to make some drastic changes in my life. The fact of the matter is that I have become a male slut, especially recently. I can’t control myself. So, I have decided that in order to save the world from my future bastard children, I will be getting a vasectomy. I have an appointment and everything; April 1, 2009 at 9:00 am in Windsor. While I am not going to stop being a male slut, I think it is my duty to prevent unwanted pregnancies and the like, so I figure this is the best way to do it. Kids aren’t all they are cracked up to be, so I think I can deal with not having any. If I do meet that special someone, maybe this thing will be reversible. I guess we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.

So, anyway, you can stop worrying about the future of America. I will not be having children. Hopefully you will sleep better at night knowing this. If not, whatever.

8 thoughts on “The Whole Truth

  1. So I’ll speak my mind…it doesn’t make me feel better. There are other ways to prevent pregnancy…but with that said, it’s your life and you will do what makes you happy. I just hope that you have really thought about the long term effects this will/may have. With that said, I support you in all of your decisions.

  2. So, I am one of your “silent readers” but I just LOVE that you called yourself a male slut. I had a really crappy day and it made me laugh so hard. And I’m glad that one of us is ‘getting some.’But in seriousness, a vasectomy is reversible, so you still might have children one day. But still be aware of venereal diseases – you male slut, you!(Okay, so I’m still giggling. The seriousness didn’t last long.)

  3. Yes, this is indeed an April Fool’s joke. Good to see that some people thought I was serious too. I had a girl at work really thinking it was true.I am, in fact, not a male slut, but thanks for asking.

  4. I knew it was an April Fools joke! It just didn’t seem like something you would do. I guess I was already in the mind frame anyway because there have been tons of pranks all day at work, so I don’t really trust anything much right now. Good one!

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